Welcome to Holy-Humour!
Have you ever walked past your local church and chuckled to yourself at those amusing posters displayed outside? I certainly have.
Well, it's about time these gems of ecclesiastical entertainment were gathered together on one page for the world to see and enjoy.
One question though: How does the Church maintain the quality of these rib-tickling plays on words? Answer: God knows!
If you spot any classics that aren't listed, please let us know: info@holy-humour.co.uk
The Collection...
- When life gets you bunkered, let Jesus drive. (Salvation Army, Deal in Kent)
- For a healthy heart, follow the maker's instructions
- The heartbeat of God is Love. Get in step with the original pacemaker!
- Exposure to the Son stops you from burning.
- More of thee, less of me.
- I'm under the influence...of God.
- The best exercise - walking with God!
- Don't drop out...of church.
- You don't believe in Jesus? You will on judgement day!
- Try Jesus. If you don't like him, the Devil will take you back!
- An Atheist is someone with no visible means of support
- Are you tyred? Drop in for a service!
- Can you tell talk from mutter? Try spreading the Good News
- Carpenter of Nazareth seeks joiners
- Christianity is Christ
- Christians are square...with God
- Cof E Can mean Church of England. To some it means Christmas or Easter!
- Come early to avoid the Christmas rush
- Come near to God and He will come near to you
- Coming soon: Three men and a baby!
- Dear God! "I have a problem: It's me!"."Dear child! I have an answer: It's me!"
- Dont despair, try prayer
- Don't just keep the faith - SPREAD IT!
- Don't worry about tomorrow God is there
- During inflation or recession, the wages of sin remain the same
- Dying to help you
- Eight out of every ten cats say their owners need it: SALVATION!
- Face the Son and the shadows fall behind
- Faith: a small step for man. Grace: a giant leap for God
- God is for life, not just for Christmas
- God is not just for emergencies
- God measures man with a tapemeasure round the heart not the head
- (Sunday) God says REST. He knows BEST
- God seems far away! Guess who moved!
- God so loved the world that he did not send a committee
- Have a nice PRAY!
- I would believe God if He showed himself! He DID!!
- If accused of being a Christian, is there enough evidence to convict you?
- If your knees shake, kneel on them
- In tennis love means nothing. In Christ love means everything
- Interested in heaven? Get your flight lessons here.
- God is not into double glazing. But He heals painful hearts
- Jesus the best Christmas Presence.
- JESUS the name that solves a Grave Problem.
- Life is fragile. Handle with prayer.
- Long standing problems? Try kneeling down.
- Noah a great businessman,kept a small company afloat while the rest of the world was in liquidation
- Our God is not dead. Sorry about yours!
- Out of every MESS, God is able to send a MESSAGE.
- Palms are not for reading, but for waving
- Prayer: the key to the morning and the bolt to the night
- Read the maker's instruction
- Talk to the listening God you can bank on Him
- This church is a one story building: It is HIS STORY
- This could be a winner: X
This could save a sinner + - Trespassers Will be forgiven
- 3:16. Know what I mean JOHN?
- What on earth are you doing? For heaven's sake!
- You can't stumble on your knees
- You're an Atheist! That relieves God of a lot of responsibility
- Have a lovely Christmas.
- Know God - Know Peace / No God - No Peace
- Seven days without prayer makes one weak
- Jesus is the reason for the season
- This Church is prayer conditioned
- 3 nails + 1 cross= 4given
- 1 star accomodation available, animals welcome, cot provided
- We're open Sundays too. (in response to a nearby restaurant displaying a poster stating that they were open on a Sunday
- Jesus: Liar, Hypocrite or Lord?
- Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!
- Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins.
- Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
- An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.
- People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
- Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily.
- How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non- smoking?
- Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives
- Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
- It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
- Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
- If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
- If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
- Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
- Can't Sleep? Try counting your blessings.
- In the dark? Follow the Son.
- Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up.
- If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
- Free coffee. Eternal life. Membership has its priveleges.
I have found quite a few of these for myself, but I must credit 'cnj' and 'Audrey' on the www.vegsource.com website for a lot of these gems and Alex who texts me whenever he sees a good one.
